Kelli and Martha’s Top Ten Coping Strategies

I am thrilled to share today’s post with a beloved colleague, Martha Ann Toll. Martha and I met while serving on the board of Funders Together to End Homelessness. At that time, I was Vice President of Programs & Community Engagement at the Simmons Foundation in Houston, and Martha was the Executive Director of the Butler Family Fund.

After 26 amazing years running the Butler Family Fund, a social justice philanthropy, Martha left to write full-time in 2020. I transitioned earlier this year to solely focus on my coaching and consulting. We’ve stayed in touch about our new lives. Martha has been a wonderful support to me, giving me entrepreneur tips and sending me client referrals, and I’ve been fangirling as she prepares for the launch of her first novel. I am deeply grateful for her friendship.

Last week we were chatting in our LinkedIn DMs about how to cope with the relentless onslaught of horrifying and hope-crushing news. We discussed our strategies and wanted to share our list, in case it’s helpful.

1. KKJ: Start a text thread with BFFs and incorporate TikToks, memes, and animal videos and not just the bad news of the world.
   
2. MAT: Go on a serious news diet.
   
   
3. KKJ: Have outdoor wine meetups with my people (fellow introverts will understand the italics). 
   MAT: Eat lunch with your girlfriends as often as possible but not so often that you feel overscheduled.
   
4. KKJ and MAT: Start with exercise time as a repeating calendar item vs. fitting it in each day. 
   
5. KKJ: Take 30-minute random brain breaks and choose from a menu of things you like (nap, read, neurofeedback, a casual walk, etc.)
   -Exercise with what you love. [Kelli is a “Gen X Peloton nerd” and a walker; Martha swims and walks, and when she can stand it, does the elliptical.].
   -Save administrative work for outside your peak hours.
   -Try delegating.
   -Most emails and texts can wait.
   
6. KKJ and MAT: Eat dessert.
   
7. KKJ and MAT: Get rid of any toxic people in your life.
   
8. KKJ: Be intentional about ‘dates’ to FT with grandchildren, call your mom, and have a virtual paint party with your adult daughter.
   MAT: Hug your loved ones.
   
9. MAT:  Give a charitable donation, or, at the very least a compliment and some love, every time you get a rejection.
   
10. KKJ: Move at the speed of grief.

(Special note: Martha wrote and published this post first on her blog, and it has been slightly edited for mine.)

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