Kelli King-Jackson, ACC

Coaching for Black women leading in white spaces.

personal development

Leading Like Our Ancestors: 5 Myths Juneteenth Helps Us Bust

I remember the first time I felt free as a leader. I had been hired to take a project from a concept/proposal to full implementation. The person who had written the proposal fully trusted me to implement based on my expertise. I had never felt so creative in my career! It was wonderful and overwhelming at the same time.

Juneteenth was a moment in history where folks also likely felt conflicted. Can you imagine being ecstatic to be free from enslavement while also being overwhelmed about learning how to navigate the world on your own? Or being joyful about the end of slavery but enraged that the news had not been shared with you for two whole years? Still, from early on after enslaved folks in Texas learned of their freedom, they established Juneteenth celebrations, including buying the historic Emancipation Park. In the spirit of Juneteenth and our collective freedom, this post shows what Emancipation Park, a living symbol of freedom, offers us today.

1. The Myth of “Ready” Leadership

Myth to Bust: Good leaders wait until they’re completely prepared

Our ancestors show us that we don’t have to wait for permission or the perfect conditions to lead. The leaders who bought the Emancipation Park pooled their resources to make the purchase. No one person or family could afford to buy the land on their own. Can’t you see the Black women cooking food or knitting items to sell to help raise the funds? From Mama Sojourner to Mama Coretta Scott King, we have consistently seen ancestors show us what it means to lead in even the most impossible circumstances. When we wait for this idea of ‘readiness’ it can keep us playing and leading small. Self-doubt and negative self-talk because of imposter syndrome are examples of how this plays out for many of the Black women I work with.

What is one area of your leadership that you’ve been holding back because you don’t feel ready? Is there one step you can take to move forward in that area this week?

2. The Freedom to Fail Forward

Myth to Bust: Strong leaders never show uncertainty

It took more than 150 years for Juneteenth to gain global recognition. Even here in Texas our celebrations have ebbed and flowed. Emancipation Park, though purchased by Black folks, hasn’t always had the capital needed to be the home of Juneteenth celebrations. Those years where there weren’t enough resources to maintain the park or expand the vision were long and hard. At times, there was critique and criticism of the leadership of the Park. But still, the Park remained. In 2017, the Park was rededicated after several capital investments brought to life a reimagined vision. Today, the Park has a beautiful campus that operates year round offering programming in a historic Black community and welcomes people from across the world.

Who has invested in your leadership during a time of difficulty? How did this investment help you ‘fail forward’ toward where you are aspired to be in your leadership?

3. Leading Through Complexity

Myth to Bust: Good leaders have all the answers

In 2021, when Juneteenth became a federal holiday in the U.S., we were in the midst of a significant, though short-lived, racial reckoning. Today, in 2025, the current leader of the country is already insinuating that he’s ready to take that federal holiday away. As the U.S. continues to debate the need for equity, inclusion and belonging in the public sphere, Black folks remain focused on leading through uncertainty. We don’t know what will come but we know the work must get done. Staying focused on our goals, our strategic plans, and on our communities despite all the difficulties swirling around us is a superpower we inherited. We hold the complexities of joy, anger, uncertainty, and resolve like our ancestors before us.

How do you show up as a leader during times of uncertainty in your organization and/or the world? In what ways do you show your team and community that they can count on you to keep them moving forward?

4. Community Over Perfection

Myth to Bust: Leadership is about individual excellence

In the U.S. we celebrate individual accomplishments almost at the expense of collective wins. In many organizations, individuals will be acknowledged for how they’re perceived or how well they’re liked at the expense of the team that was needed to fully execute the work. No one person can save a project, family, or community on their own. Even if one person had an outsized influence, it is rare to say that only one person did everything. Community and collective efforts are messy. They come with challenges both interpersonal and systemic. When we can decenter individual excellence in service to the work of the group, so much more is possible. More ways of seeing and being. More hands and feet to do the work. Emancipation Park would not exist without the collective. Even if one family gave or raised more money than the others, the story that we tell here in Houston is that these four came together to purchase the park. It’s a significant reframe to think about leadership as how well we’re able to bring people together for a common purpose or goal.

In what ways can you prioritize collective progress over individual perfection? How can you normalize community and the messiness that comes with coming together?

5. The Radical Act of Rest

Myth to Bust: Strong leaders never stop, never slow down

Burnout and overwhelm are so common today we have books and workshops to help our teams recover from the work cultures we’ve created. Often, I have clients say they’re in five or more back to back meetings a day. No lunch breaks, barely taking breaks to use the restroom. Logging into work after a long commute home and tending to their households. This way of working is one of the most negative things to come out of the global pandemic of 2020. Freedom, or emancipation, is something that the Park symbolizes for us all. We know that freedom ain’t free, so there is often a cost to our liberty. The truth is that having boundaries around work and capacity is dangerous for many. Boundaries have been weaponized against clients who were subsequently skipped over for promotions because they were no longer seen as being ‘all in’ (which was code for working late nights and on weekends). This is why Ancestor Audre Lorde said that rest is an act of political warfare. If necessary, we have to be willing to fight and sacrifice to get it.

What commitments can you make to increase your ‘rest’ at work?

  • [ ] Add at least 15 minute buffers between meetings
  • [ ] Take a daily non-working lunch break
  • [ ] Limit after hours work to emergencies only (i.e. loss of money, life, health, housing)
  • [ ] Give feedback and offer solutions to supervisor about the work culture

What can slowing down to rest open up for you? For others on your team/in your community/in your family?

Conclusion: A Juneteenth Leadership Declaration

I believe that today, freedom in leadership for Black women looks like healthy boundaries, collective care, and unspeakable joy. Yes, we will continue to show up during times of uncertainty and challenge, but we will do so while centering our humanity and wellbeing. Never forget that our ancestors claimed their freedom through collective action, well before they were ‘established’ or respected outside of their community. They stepped forward with boldness to create what our community needed to remind us of who we are and what we can accomplish. It’s my hope that every client and reader will be free to lead with the same clarity of purpose.

Ready to embrace your own leadership freedom? Download the #LeadFree Leadership Guide to start dispelling myths that are holding you back.

Want to go deeper? Join us for our June 27 Quarterly Review where we’ll focus on leadership freedom – reflecting on where you’ve been playing it too safe and creating space for more authentic leadership. If your household has been impacted by the nationwide layoffs of 2025, reach out to receive a special code to attend for free.

5 Ways to Maintain Your Emotional Intelligence When You’re Triggered AF

By now, you know I’m passionate about emotional intelligence (EQ) as an essential skill for all leaders of humans (animals too!) Having a high EQ requires some intentionality to maintain because unlike IQ, your EQ is not fixed.  Since EQ is impacted by the things we experience in our lives and leadership, we must be mindful (not demure, maybe cutesy) about it. 

You may be navigating how toxic U.S. politics are spilling over into your work environment; or you abruptly had your job duties change because of how the attacks on diversity, equity and inclusion is being addressed in your organization. Maintaining your emotional intelligence are key to helping you lead with confidence and keep your emotional well-being in a good place.  If you’re struggling, here’s how to get started:

First, ask yourself these five questions:

1. Self-Perception – Do you internally question your value or abilities (a.k.a. feel like an imposter) or go out of your way to make it clear you’re qualified for your role?

2. Self-Expression – Are you less comfortable expressing your opinions around anything that could be perceived to be connected to race or social justice at work, even when it’s relevant to the conversation? 

3. Interpersonal – Has the lack of psychological safety left you feeling distant or disconnected from others?

4. Decision Making – Have challenges in your organization created tensions between staff that make it harder for you to make decisions?

5. Stress Management – Are you finding it more difficult to manage your stress or stay calm given the state of the world?

Look at your responses.  What surprised you? What concerned you? What made you feel great? 

1. Identify Your Emotions

You can feel hard things.  The idea that emotions have no place at work or in leadership is not useful. You’re a human being.  You have feelings.  What we want is for you to actually tap into those feelings so they don’t take over how you show up as a leader.  Check out this great feelings wheel, especially if you a feelings dodger or an earth sign (often confused with not expressing emotion). If you find yourself in the xx part of the wheel, consider keeping a list or journal to track how certain experiences impact your mood and decision-making.

2. Practice Active Listening

Active listening is a skill most of us need to work on, especially post-pandemic as we lead in environments that have rapidly changed.  Active listening includes paying attention to what is said and unsaid.  When in conversations, focus not only on the words but the emotions behind them.  Make sure to ask questions and avoid making assumptions about what you think you’re hearing. 

3. Strengthen Your Self-Expression

Let’s be real.  Everyone cannot handle all of you and what you think!  You need a safe space to express your emotions authentically without fear of judgment (eh-hem…schedule your next session if you’re not on the calendar). This helps you practice speaking your truth in tough situations so you can then show up at work in a way that keeps you safe.  Sometimes y’all out here verbal vomiting and saying the the truth you see in a space that cannot hold it. 

4. Manage Stress with Mindfulness

According to positive psychology (PQ), we need about 10 seconds to reroute neurons when our Saboteurs are activated. Mindfulness helps you create new neural pathways. You can use mindfulness to pause when you’re being controlling or hyper vigilant about something. Basically, when your mind is taking control, pause long enough to get back in your body. Shift the energy so you can remain clear-headed and not get flustered or overwhelmed. As someone who hates to meditate, I had to find mindfulness tools that worked for me.  My practice of choice is tapping (current clients can access the tapping resources in our coaching resources board).  Find a practice that you can use before your (work) triggers get you activated.

5. Build a Support Network

Finding community can be hard for Black women leading in white spaces. Sometimes it’s the organizational culture or politics. Other times, it’s finding a leader who understands your experience as a Black woman and who is not intimidated by you. Some of y’all have just had really toxic experiences so you rather keep to yourself. Isolation is a tool of dominate culture. When leaders are isolated, the head noise can be exceptionally loud. You need community. I said it. You need people to lead well. You need their perspectives and their pushback. Their support and their challenge. Surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals creates a strong professional and emotional support system. If you’ve been nervous about connecting with other leaders, check out sone of our small groups as a way to ease into a network.

If you’re ready to join a small group with Black women in leadership who are thriving, fill out our intake form.

Ready to take your EQ development to the next level? Schedule an EQ-i 2.0 assessment for yourself or your team today and start your journey toward more empowered leadership!

Freedom in Leadership

Thanks to my colleague, Jumi Falusi Samen for sharing the questions below. They inspired me to write my thoughts on Freedom Day and what freedom means to me as a Black woman in leadership.

1. Who are the [leaders] that embody values of justice, liberation and joy? What in their stories inspires the leadership legacy I strive to live and to leave?

The leaders who come immediately to mind are people like Desiree Adaway, Joy-Ann Reid, and my 94.5-year-old grandma. Desiree has led the way on equity and justice work. Joy-Ann has navigated the highs and lows of a mainstream career and remained authentically herself. My grandmother was raised in a small town in Livingston Parish, Louisiana, and moved north to Seattle with her seven daughters when my mom was 11 years old. These three women all embody some of what I deeply admire about being free Black women.

2. What are the connections between Black emancipation and my own freedom as a leader?

My great-grandparents were born in Orange, Texas in 1898. Orange is about two hours east of my home in Houston. I think a lot about their migration journey and mine as I research our family genealogy. My great-grandparents were religious leaders in partnership with ‘white saints’ in the South at a time when that wasn’t popular. I think of the courage it must have taken to establish and run their church during that time in that place. They were clear in their purpose and did not fear convention. That’s freedom.

My great grandparents’ leadership reminds me that coming from families of formerly enslaved parents, freedom was fresh. New. They didn’t take that freedom for granted and chose to push it to the limits of what was possible in that day and age. 

3. How am I choosing (now and in the future) to cultivate justice, liberation, and joy for Black people across my relationships, philanthropy and work?

One thing I’ve been striving for is more joy in my relationships. Not just checking in with my partner about bills or kids or whatever. But how is he doing? What is he excited about? What does he want to explore? That‘s new for me. Cultivation requires tending. Intentionality. I want to be free to be curious in all things. This means trying new things for our quarterly trips and reconnecting around things we both enjoy.

At work cultivating justice, liberation, and joy looks like not just following culture, but also being brave enough to set it when the culture is not working for my team. Checking in with my folks by giving regular feedback and asking for it too. With my philanthropy, I’ve been trying to be mindful about giving locally, donating time according to my skills and interests, and also sharing information about the organizations I support with my professional network. 

The Easeful Life

My mama, aunties, and cousins who have followed this blog over many iterations know I have not had an ‘easy’ life.  Since I was a child I’ve always had a lot of complex health needs.  Trauma + structural and environmental racism have run havoc on my body for decades.  Then I became a wife, parent, caregiver, and grandparent and things got even more interesting.  I have not and probably will not ever have a simple life.  I’ve always been leading with a lot in the background. 

For years, I was sad about how complicated things were for me and grieved it.  Then somewhere along the way I transitioned from a state of praying and begging for things to be simple or normal, to a begrudgingly resigned state of ‘it is what it is.’  I stayed stuck there through much of my thirties and somewhere in my mid-forties started moving toward a a zen-like acceptance. 

I accept my life and all the complexities it brings.

How I got here took too long and was expensive.  Therapy, self-help books, workshops, and soooo much more.  I’m here to give you a cheat sheet that might save you time and money.  Here are some things I’ve done to live into an easeful life as a Black woman in leadership.

E – Excellence is not perfectionism.   Instead of striving for perfectionism, I have anchored myself in excellence.  Excellence, as I conceptualize it, comes with hard work and commitment – two things I excel in as a Capricorn.  I’m committed to being an excellent leader of myself, my family, and my community. If you swapped perfectionism for excellence, what type of leader would you be?

A – Action takes planning.  My life is easeful when I have a plan.  My plan is not rigid but it has structure.  I use my calendar and to-do lists.  I use my 4D system – Devote, Delegate, Delay, and Delete – to prioritize and get real with what I can and what to spend my time on.  Look at your to-do list and give each task a number (1-4) and see where you end up.

S – Slow down my brain.  30-minute brain breaks are important to plug into my days.  I have a menu of things I do to give my brain a reset during the day – tapping, napping, doodling, listening to music, and more.  Find the things that rejuvenate you and give them a try for yourself.

E – Emails are not an emergency.  Just because other folks are moving fast does not mean I have to.  Now, yes, there are some things I want to take quick action on because they are aligned or have a critical need.  Others are folks’ wants and desires, and those are none of my business.  I had to learn the difference and communicate accordingly.  For a week, try turning off email notifications and setting a timer for occasional email checking (i.e. 9am, 12pm, and 4pm).  Audit your week and see if you notice a change in your production and engagement.

F – Fall back into joy.  I’ve learned that joy is always available to me.  I can pull out a picture of someone I love, smell a scent that brings back a good memory, or turn on my favorite Afrobeats song.  No matter how hard the day, I can carve out a few minutes for joy.  What’s one thing that switches your mood quickly?  Add that thing to your workday/bring it to your desk.

U – Unclench your jaws.  We hold a lot of tension in our bodies.  In fact, some of us are holding our breath 90 percent of the day.  If we can set some intention to unclench and take a breath, we create more literal and figurative space for thinking, feeling, and being — the three things we need to take purpose action.  Check-in with yourself while you’re reading this.  If you notice your jaw is tight do a round or two of box breathing and tap back into your body.

L – Laugh to keep from crying.  Sometimes I have to laugh at the ridiculousness of a new alert or inquiry.  I chuckle and tell myself, that whatever they intended, was not for me. I’m [energetically] sending it right back to them! Laughter yoga feels silly but it works.  Even Taraji says so.

Learning to accept my life as it is has been liberating.  Embracing these tools has helped my days be more consistently easeful.  If you try any of these, let me know.