Kelli King-Jackson, ACC

Coaching for Black women leading in white spaces.

personal development

Black at Work: Slow

Slow down.

This post is for the person that has tired of the hustle and bustle of the fast-paced, overachieving, way of leadership. This is for the leader who believes that slowing down allows them to have a deeper impact. The one who wants a more intentional pace instead of the chaotic and disorganized pace of the past.

We live in a get-things-done-now type of society. A world that values efficiency over intentionality. Just because we live in this type of world doesn’t mean we have to surrender to the pace around us all the time. Sometimes we may want or need to slow down.

If slowing down the pace is a leadership goal for you, here are a few places to start.

  1. Be honest with yourself about where you work and how you work best.
    If you can’t face reality, things will remain hard in areas that could soften. Tell the truth about what you want and what you’re willing to put up with to get it at your current organization.
  2. Include your long-term professional goals in your work plan.
    Being aligned with your goals will keep you motivated and clear which can contribute to a less frenzied work pace. This also makes sure you’re not putting all your time into making your supervisor look good by saving a little energy/time to grow as a leader.
  3. Schedule regular time off at the beginning of the year. Don’t be the person left to do two jobs because your colleague planned for their leave but you didn’t plan for it too. [read that again] Regular breaks throughout the year prevent burnout and slow down the hectic pace many leaders get trapped in.
  4. Have a 15min staff meeting with yourself at the beginning and end of your week.
    This is a great place to think about how you will track your task and goal/progress for the week. Managing tasks helps you stay on top of things and also slows your pace enough for you to see what went well and what got away from you. This also helps you set up the upcoming week to be at the pace you desire.
  5. Create buffers between meetings.
    Buffers give you time to step away from your desk, jot down any notes for meeting follow-up, take bio breaks, nourish your body, etc. The buffers are key to preserving yourself in the work. Burnout serves no one and is avoidable, even when we tell ourselves it isn’t.
  6. Free up some time by aligning committee work to your individual work plan or team plan.
    A lot of committees are sucking time and not adding value to your goals. Some are political moves that you feel pressured to make, but others could roll off your plate if you made a strategic case for the limited value they bring. Ditch the committees you can and put boundaries around the ones you can’t.
  7. Start having strategy meetings before meetings.
    Meetings before meetings help you identify key places to be more collaborative, improve processes, and walk through the agenda. Meetings before the meetings provide ample time to review the agenda, prep for any presentation, and jotting down ideas/questions. Setting this time aside is especially helpful for those who need more processing time or feel overhwelmed being asked to respond to discussions on the spot.
  8. Schedule weekly vision & strategy time where your brain has time to percolate on trends, themes, and opportunities.
    Unlike your weekly staff meeting, this time is not focused on tasks. Tools like Jamboard, Miro, or Mural – or just grab some stickies – and start to categorize and organize your tasks. Where is there overlap? What are you all overlooking in your rush to move quickly? What needs to be delated or postponed?
  9. Don’t co-sign team members engaging in unhealthy work culture. Celebrating problematic ways of working will only make it more difficult for things to change. Even if you can’t openly or safely fight against the pace or volume of work, you don’t have to applaud it. Sometimes our silence says more than our words.
  10. Make an exit plan. If a slower, more intentional work pace is not possible where you are then it’s time to get clear on the type of work environment you want and what it will take to get it.

    As you can see, I believe the way to get to more impactful and intentional leadership is to slow down the pace enough to think, startegize, and plan. Want to talk about how coaching can help you get there? Let’s chat!

    Kelli and Martha’s End of the Year Survival List: Special Edition

    Hey y’all!

    It’s the list-making time of year, and Martha and I wanted to share our top ten survival strategies.

    In addition to what we said last time we made our list:

    1. Add a ‘nourishing’ appointment to your online calendar to catch up with friends and colleagues at local (outdoor) spots.  

    2. Cut your last year’s holiday shopping in half and consider regifting or charitable donations honoring someone instead. Given the great disparities in giving, please support organizations led by people of color, LGBTQ fox, and people with disabilities.

    3. Put some love into the world:

    • For the non-chefs, send an e-gift card for a food delivery service, or, if you can, cook for a friend or loved one in need.
    • Send a thank you note, email, or text even if it’s too late. Seriously, don’t overthink it. Sending it will benefit you and the other person.
    • Send the condolence message you forgot to send. Please let’s normalize grief beyond the first two weeks.
    • Give a stranger a compliment. If you suffer from stranger danger, join the #MakeKindnesstheNorm movement

    4. When you don’t get The Thing or Things you want, LET IT GO! Someone else got it instead is happy about it because they got it, and a lot of someones didn’t get it and feel the same way you do. 

    5. Be an email abolitionist. (Oh Kelli! I will aspire to this!) Go back to phone calls and don’t leave voicemails.

    6. Try fried pickles if you haven’t yet. Eat them like people do in the south, by dipping them in some ranch dressing!

    7. Hug your loved ones. Or, if you’re not a hugger, make sure to find other ways to show affection—words of affirmation, celebrating their accomplishments, etc.  

    8. Friends are really important!  Our friend group fills our cup daily.

    9. Learning to nap is a love letter to your inner child.

    10. Celebrate the rejections!! Taking a wrong turn opens the possibility for new discoveries about yourself and others.   

    Love,

    Kelli and Martha

    Black at Work: Energy Audit

    You may have seen my post on LinkedIn where I talked about testing out an energy audit of my calendar. The energy audit has also come up in coaching sessions as many of my clients have been experiencing extreme overwhelm. Y’all have consistently talked about being stretched too thin, being exhausted, and lacking excess energy to do the things that you love and are excited about because there is just no reserve.

    Why does it matter? You’re human! I know some think it’s a given but so many of y’all are holding on to your superwoman martyr costumes that I needed to type it anyway. The really real is that how you spend your time – what’s on your calendar – tells the story of what you believe is important (personally or because of external pressure). So, despite what you say, your calendar is a values statement.

    So what exactly is an energy audit?

    The concept of energy audit was actually introduced to me by my colleague, Tracie Jae. The idea is that you can start being more mindful about how your leadership styles, work environment, personality, etc. impact your work. I’ve broken down the energy audit in three components.

    Boundaries

    The first is that you have a centralized calendar system. It really doesn’t matter what type of calendar but it does matter that you have ONE. Those of y’all still trying to navigate paper and digital calendars at the same time are fascinating. You can argue me down that it works for you even as you keep double booking. Stop it 🙂 ALL of your events and activities need to be in one place. This is the place you go to look to see what you have going on each day, week or month across all of your obligations (work, home, self). A consistently utilized calendar is a boundary, y’all. Things floating around in your head or on random stickies don’t get done. Your eyes are bigger than your stomach. Your yeses exceed your availability.

    Alignment

    Having everything written down allows you to think about how much energy each item on my calendar costs you. Whether you timeblock or color-code, take a look at the things that make it on your calendar. What do they tell you about what’s important to you? Meetings? Writing time? Strategy? Supervision? Emails? We live complex lives, so to think that our calendars are neutral is naive. Each item on your calendar tells you if you’re spending time on things that aligned to your job, purpose, family, etc. An audit of your calendar tells you how much energy it takes to get each item done. Take a look at what was on your calendar and what type of energy you expended on each item. Did you have a day full of meetings that have nothing to do with your job and just put you further and further behind? How did you feel at the end of that day? If you felt anything less than ‘ok’ is there anything you had control of that would have left you with some energy. Look back at the activities on your calendar to see where and how you spent your time. Where there any energy producing activities? If not, what changes can you make next week to change things up?

    Rest

    Doing an energy audit allows you to see whether or not how you spend your time is deeply aligned to your purpose/passion/vision/career goals. When you operate outside of our gifts, talents, and roles you are using extra energy. There more you are out of alignment the more time you need to recover and replenish your energy. Rest means in taking pauses and building in breaks to sustaining yourself, especially when your work or team you’re on are misaligned due to circumstances (i.e. Sis has bills to pay). When a new job isn’t a quick solution, you can orcharstrate rest by giving yourself buffer time before or after meetings to prep or to decompress. You can also make sure you are appropriately delegating and using your time with your supervisor to realign your work/role, if at all possible.

    Now What?

    Energy audits aren’t easy but they provide important information. They help you better understand where and how you’re spending your time so you can prepare. You are worth the 15 minutes between meetings that you need to shake off a toxic team or to nourish your body. Energy audits are especially important when you lead in spaces where you don’t have the position or power to control your calendar. When it’s safe, voice the things you need to bring the greatest value to your work. When it’s not safe, do your best to use your energy in the most strategic and impactful way. Either way, commit to trying something. Test an energy audit and notice what you learn. Are there a ny change in your disposition and mind? What is your energy like after a day of aligning your calendar to your values and purpose? If you do an energy audit, let me know how it goes.

    Black at Work: Reset YourSelf

    September is doing all the things.  Mercury is in Retrograde.   COVID is still real.  Life is life-ing.  Across my coaching sessions you have said y’all are exhausted, overworked, underappreciated, and refusing to slack off because Black women don’t move like that. 

    Y’all have heard me ask: At what cost?

    How much longer will you be able to maintain this pace?

    What would ‘better’ look like, feel like, smell like, sound like, taste like?

    My job as a coach is not to tell you what to do.  It’s to ask questions.  Offer things for your consideration.  Challenge you to consider another viewpoint. 

    My coach is doing the same with me.  I, too, managed to allow my schedule to get out of control in August.  I looked up and it was September and I couldn’t even remember my late-July vacation. 

    IYKYK

    One thing about me is that I’m going to find a way to bounce back.  Here are a few things I’m going to try as I seek to enter this next quarter from an empowered place. I hope they help give you the energy you are to reallocate time in the 4th quarter.

    1. Back to a 30-45 min weekly planning time.  I used to do this session with the Joy Collective and even hosted monthly sessions for my network in 2021.  I miss having this time to prepare for the workweek. You can do the same by hopping on Zoom with friends or doing it as a family activity.
    2. Time Blocking.  I’ve written about time-blocking before.  This tool is essential because meetings aren’t work and virtual land has created the conditions to expect back-to-back-to-back meetings ALL. DAY. LONG. Time blocking allows me to schedule dedicated working times where I can process all the meetings and build relationships.  If you adopt this strategy treat this time as a sacred, non-negotiable meeting with your brain. 
    3. Our labor laws in the U.S. are trash but most jobs allow for a 30-minute lunch break.  Take it!  Step away from your desk and get back into your body.
    4. Before saying yes to another request ask a LOT of questions.  Nitpick the hell out of the request to ensure that your yes is deeply aligned to your job, values, and goals. Am I the best person for this request?  If I wasn’t available who would you ask to serve in this capacity? How much time is expected for me to participate? When will this project/committee/etc. end?

    I mean, it’s wild that the rest of us feel like we are letting folks down by prioritizing ourselves in our own lives.  Hopefully, we are learning that the way these Gen Zers are set up – the way they walk into interviews asking about PTO, mental health coverage, and PD budgets – is the new minimum standard.  Holistic growth is non-negotiable for Gen Zers; it’s not something they have to earn by paying unstated, outdated dues.

    Yep, just writing that sentence triggered me. 

    Here’s the thing.  So many of us have stopped believing in what’s possible because of what we’ve seen firsthand.  Our doubt needs to catch up with these company policies and statements. Until then, let’s leverage the hell out of them before they disappear. Let’s use these resources to reset ourselves!

    Resources:

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