Kelli King-Jackson, ACC

Coaching for Black women leading in white spaces.

Personal Development

Enneagram Life

Because I am a good nerd, I like to spend my birthday alone.  Some years I craft.  Others I read or do a spa day.  This year, my birthday was on a Saturday and my husband surprised me and flew one of my best sisters in from Cali.  Seeing her sweet face made what had been a rough few months 10,000 times lighter.  My husbands timing was perfect because my ‘plans’ had fallen through.  In my head, I had planned to go on a genealogy road trip through the deep south to do some research at local libraries for my special day.  When he shared his plans for my birthday weekend I felt a sigh of relief that I was not in charge of finding something to do to ring in the 4-4.

In the end, things worked out as they always do — just as they should.  I had a great weekend with friends and family.  I got two extra ‘ice days’ off.  Then nearly two weeks after my birthday I enjoyed an Enneagram assessment facilitated by a local Houstonian.

I learned about Enneagram a few years ago but had not done much to pursue it other than reading a few articles.  The few times I had tried to google ‘Enneagram and Houston’ together I had not had much luck.  Most of the workshops that popped up were long past.  Somehow in the midst of the craziness of my family life at the end of 2017, I got a hit.  I found a website of a local facilitator that had an email address.  Within an hour of pressing send, I received a return call and scheduled an appointment.  Life caused both of us to reschedule two different dates but we finally ended up meeting on January 26th.

Persisting to complete my Enneagram assessment was a gift to myself.  Judy says that the Enneagram is what separates me from myself, others and God.  Here are some things I learned about myself in getting my Enneagram assessment:

  1. I am a Type 2 (Giver).  As a Giver my nature is to be caring, helpful, supportive, and relationship-oriented, but I can also be prideful, overly intrusive, and demanding;
  2. I ‘anticipate’ what others need and step in before/regardless of if they ask for help;
  3. It stresses me out to not fill other peoples needs; and
  4. In times of stress I move toward Type 8 (Protector); in times of security, I move toward Type 4 (Romantic).

As with all personality assessments, the results are not exact.  However, what I appreciate about the Enneagram is the spiritual component and the recognition of how our childhoods shape the personalities we present as adults.

I’ll be digging into my Enneagram over the next few years.  If you’ve completed your Enneagram I would love to hear about your results.

kelli

 

Organizing as Self Care

I’ve been stuck at home for two days due to a cold front passing through Houston.  The temperatures are in the low 20s and our city has asked everyone to stay put.  This meant that today I got to have the day off.  Before I knew it, I was working on our tax spreadsheet for 2017.  I HATE doing the tax spreadsheet.  I try to stay organized but every year working on the spreadsheet feels like it is sucking the life out of me.  Still, some kind of way the tax spreadsheet is one of the tasks that gets stuck on my to-do list.  I really do try not to complain but I am not a numbers girl.  I like to read and write.  Hence this blog 🙂

Whatever happened to me today, I looked up and I was going through my ‘taxes’ folder in our family email.  Yes, we have a family email account.  I also have one for coupons!  Who has time for 10,000 sales ads in their inbox but who never wants to miss a sale?!?  Me! Having a ‘taxes’ folder allows me to save any receipts for donations or business related expenses to one folder.  In theory, I want to go through that folder once a quarter but I have not made that much progress.  Still, it was quite amazing to realize that even just having this one folder saved me hours of time.  No paper receipts to track down.  I can do a search in the folder for frequent expenses.  After just a few hours today, I had my spreadsheet all filled out.  Now I will just wait for my tax donations letters so I can make sure cross-check my numbers.  Once I get those donation letters and our W-2s I can share my spreadsheet with our accountant.

Many of my friends think I am extremely organized.  I always think I am not organized enough.  You know the drill.  I have come to realize that being organized and having systems in place is a self-care practice.  When I am organized I am less frazzled.  I can find what I am looking for.  I waste less time.  I have less negative self-talk.  For me, even a simple to-do list and a calendar alert to shred junk mail every Friday at 2pm takes a load off my brain.  

To my friends who struggle with being organized I want to share the following:

  1.  Having too many/too much is the biggest barrier to being organized.  Get off the mailing lists (paper and electronic).  Focus on getting information from things you really care about.  Streamline and downsize.
  2. Keep it Simple, Sister!  A complicated organizing system will frustrate you and never be implemented.  Do not waste time and money.  Figure out what type of lists you like and if you prefer paper or electronic or both.  Try something.
  3. Stay off Pinterest…unless you are really disciplined.  When you are just getting started you run the risk of looking for a system that looks good vs. one that works for you.  Start with the list and then see if you can stick to it before getting into the aesthetics of planning systems.
  4. Reflect on what is blocking you.  Schedule an AFT session with me, write in your journal, scream it out.  You must, must, must connect with the internal feelings and thoughts that hold you back from making progress.  

In the end, being just a little bit more organized will motivate you to keep going.  Give yourself grace.  Celebrate the small wins.  Keep telling yourself that the more organized you are the more time you have for you!  It’s a headache to start but well worth it in the end.  

 kelli  

Enough

Join us for a Beta Test of

RADICAL SELF-CARE

FOR WOMEN

WHO’VE HAD ENOUGH

Are you ready to say ‘BYE to all the toxic people and things in your life?

You are NOT powerless.

Let’s say ENOUGH and clear the way for 2017.

Join us for an interactive session that makes space for you to:

  • Acknowledge the highs and lows
  • Make space for more ‘yes’
  • Visualize a way forward
  • Identify key supports
  • (Re)Create your self-care toolkit

We will leave our time together with a renewed sense of purpose and a plan to face each day with boldness and joy.

Women who have experienced loss, work in high-pressure careers (corporate and nonprofit), are emptynesters, and/or are part of a blended family are especially encouraged to attend.

There are only eight (8) slots for this beta session in Houston.  To join us, please register today.

Saturday, January 7th
10am – 1pm
Houston, TX
Lunch will be provided




*If you are unable to join us, please be on the look-out for more workshops in 2017.

Radical SAVERS for Self Care

I haven’t written a blog post since February. Not sure how that happened…oh yes, I do.  L.I.F.E.

As an employed-preneur (aka hustla) I work and run my own businesses.  I have an (extended)family and community.  Since I’ve been away my family has faced some heavy, heady, stuff.  We’ve experienced graduations, travel, surgeries, biopsies, and now cancer. I have blogged in my head but other than character limited social media posts could not get a single word out on the page.  Things happen that way.

Two nights ago, the murder of Alton Sterling woke me back up.  I acknowledged that while my family’s suffering is real, I live a privileged life.  We have had the resources to pursue education, access healthcare, travel.  We have each other to lean on in times of true pain.

My privilege does not absolve me from showing up for others.  My privilege requires me to use my education, resources and networks for the greater good.  I know without a doubt that God created me to pursue justice as a radical act of faith.

As I was trying to figure out how to get out of bed this morning, I popped on Facebook to check in with my virtual crew. The first item on my news feed was a picture of a Donny Hathaway album that a friend posted.  She reminded me of the healing power of music & its importance to my self-care.

Y’all know I use the Miracle Morning personal development framework for the past year.  This mornings SAVERS were situated in the reality of two Black men murdered by law enforcement in the last 48 hours.  My SAVERS were radical in that they were not about my personal enjoyment or fulfillment.  They were about addressing trauma in a way that freed my spirit to face the day.

Here are today’s SAVERS:

Silence: prayer for the families of Alton Sterling & Philando Castile

Affirmation: #blacklivesmatter

Visualization: freedom

Exercise: yoga (tadasana)

Read: Psalm 103:6

Scribe: outline for a blog post on black philanthropy for black lives, coloring

This my people is #radicalselfcare. Name and address the trauma (if you are ready/able). If you have the privilege of time and space, take it.  Take care of you by any means necessary.

Our lives literally depend on it.

kelli