Have you ever been on a boat (of any size) during a storm? Even when anchored? No bueno! Listen, I was on a small boat in St. Lucia on a beautiful day and one wave had me hitting the deck. Water terrifies me because when I look out I see no end. No land.
Not having control is one of my greatest shortcomings. I do not want to be in charge because I think I know everything or because I am power-hungry. It’s actually the opposite. For me, being in control is a way to protect myself. Protecting myself from who/what is much harder to explain.
As a Black woman, I have spent much of my education and career in predominantly white spaces. That feeling of not having control of my future was very early on filled with intimidation and fear. Was I good enough? Why me?
As a woman with daddy issues, I have had many relationships with men who could not communicate. That feeling of not having control of my relationships was very early on filled with fear of abandonment. Was I good enough? Why me?
Do you see the pattern? I was pervasive in every area of my life.
When I was a child, I understood an anchor to be something to keep things steady; to stop the boat from going into dangerous territory. As an adult, I know that an anchor is only as good as the rope or chain it is tethered to. An anchor is no good on its own, though it often gets all the credit for holding things down. Kind of odd since the anchor must be connected to a material to connect itself to the ocean floor well enough enough to keep the boat from drifting.
As I think about my word for 2018 I know that I am committed to manifesting a life that is only tethered to people, institutions, and causes that share my values. I vizualize my life anchor as being tethered to the things I hold dear. I value honesty, loyalty, service, and empathy. I am learning that cannot actualize in spaces that do not align with my values. When I am required to be in relationship with people who do not share the same values, I struggle to trust them to hold me down.
This awareness did not happen overnight. Neither did the freedom to make such a bold statement.
I’m growing, y’all!
If you want to more fully lead with your values by aligning your personal and professional development with your purpose I want you to join me.
Over the next few weeks, I will be rolling out some programming for a small group of values-driven women. The heart of the programming will center on creating safe spaces for women ready to focus on their personal development as they look to deepen their professional goals. Women in the group will take deep dives surrounded and anchored by an intentional community. There will also be a (slightly larger) Facebook group and the opportunity for one-on-one coaching.
If you are a values-driven woman, looking to anchor yourself deeply in a plan for growth, send me an email to be notified when registration opens. If you’re truly ready to go in the deep waters, I’d love to have you get on our boat.