Kelli King-Jackson, ACC

Coaching for Black women leading in white spaces.

personal development

Organizing as Self Care

I’ve been stuck at home for two days due to a cold front passing through Houston.  The temperatures are in the low 20s and our city has asked everyone to stay put.  This meant that today I got to have the day off.  Before I knew it, I was working on our tax spreadsheet for 2017.  I HATE doing the tax spreadsheet.  I try to stay organized but every year working on the spreadsheet feels like it is sucking the life out of me.  Still, some kind of way the tax spreadsheet is one of the tasks that gets stuck on my to-do list.  I really do try not to complain but I am not a numbers girl.  I like to read and write.  Hence this blog 🙂

Whatever happened to me today, I looked up and I was going through my ‘taxes’ folder in our family email.  Yes, we have a family email account.  I also have one for coupons!  Who has time for 10,000 sales ads in their inbox but who never wants to miss a sale?!?  Me! Having a ‘taxes’ folder allows me to save any receipts for donations or business related expenses to one folder.  In theory, I want to go through that folder once a quarter but I have not made that much progress.  Still, it was quite amazing to realize that even just having this one folder saved me hours of time.  No paper receipts to track down.  I can do a search in the folder for frequent expenses.  After just a few hours today, I had my spreadsheet all filled out.  Now I will just wait for my tax donations letters so I can make sure cross-check my numbers.  Once I get those donation letters and our W-2s I can share my spreadsheet with our accountant.

Many of my friends think I am extremely organized.  I always think I am not organized enough.  You know the drill.  I have come to realize that being organized and having systems in place is a self-care practice.  When I am organized I am less frazzled.  I can find what I am looking for.  I waste less time.  I have less negative self-talk.  For me, even a simple to-do list and a calendar alert to shred junk mail every Friday at 2pm takes a load off my brain.  

To my friends who struggle with being organized I want to share the following:

  1.  Having too many/too much is the biggest barrier to being organized.  Get off the mailing lists (paper and electronic).  Focus on getting information from things you really care about.  Streamline and downsize.
  2. Keep it Simple, Sister!  A complicated organizing system will frustrate you and never be implemented.  Do not waste time and money.  Figure out what type of lists you like and if you prefer paper or electronic or both.  Try something.
  3. Stay off Pinterest…unless you are really disciplined.  When you are just getting started you run the risk of looking for a system that looks good vs. one that works for you.  Start with the list and then see if you can stick to it before getting into the aesthetics of planning systems.
  4. Reflect on what is blocking you.  Schedule an AFT session with me, write in your journal, scream it out.  You must, must, must connect with the internal feelings and thoughts that hold you back from making progress.  

In the end, being just a little bit more organized will motivate you to keep going.  Give yourself grace.  Celebrate the small wins.  Keep telling yourself that the more organized you are the more time you have for you!  It’s a headache to start but well worth it in the end.  

 kelli  

Enough

Join us for a Beta Test of

RADICAL SELF-CARE

FOR WOMEN

WHO’VE HAD ENOUGH

Are you ready to say ‘BYE to all the toxic people and things in your life?

You are NOT powerless.

Let’s say ENOUGH and clear the way for 2017.

Join us for an interactive session that makes space for you to:

  • Acknowledge the highs and lows
  • Make space for more ‘yes’
  • Visualize a way forward
  • Identify key supports
  • (Re)Create your self-care toolkit

We will leave our time together with a renewed sense of purpose and a plan to face each day with boldness and joy.

Women who have experienced loss, work in high-pressure careers (corporate and nonprofit), are emptynesters, and/or are part of a blended family are especially encouraged to attend.

There are only eight (8) slots for this beta session in Houston.  To join us, please register today.

Saturday, January 7th
10am – 1pm
Houston, TX
Lunch will be provided




*If you are unable to join us, please be on the look-out for more workshops in 2017.

S.A.V.E.R.S.

DIsclosure: This post contains affiliate links, which means that if you click on one of the product links, I may be compensated for sales of products I link to.

Today I thought I would go a bit more into the components of the Miracle Mornings framework.  A few days ago I briefly mentioned that S.A.V.E.R.S. are the key to Miracle Mornings.  S.A.V.E.R.S. stands for:

Silence | Affirmation | Visualization | Exercise | Scribe

Miracle Mornings means that you commit to waking up at least 30 minutes early to go through each of the S.A.V.E.R.S. Realizing that some days will not allow for that time commitment, Hal says the S.A.V.E.R.S. can be done in as little as 6 minutes – spending just one minute on each component.

To get to work on time I need to leave my house by 8am.  I have experimented with different times to wake up to get my S.A.V.E.R.S completed and be out the door on time.  Two months in to my Miracle Morning journey I have tested alarm times anywhere between 5:30 and 7:30am.  The key is that no matter what time you wake up you do NOT press snooze.  When my dreaded alarm goes off I use that time for my ‘S.’  I take a moment to say Thank you God for another day.  I also say a prayer of gratitude and hope for what the day will bring.

For me reading is the best part of the morning.  I usually start with the Jesus Calling devotional, the accompanying scriptures on my bible app and then a few pages of a book on my ipad Kindle app.  RIght now I am circulating between Rising Strong (Brene Brown), For the Love (Jen Hatmaker) and The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing (Marie Kondo).

My visualizations have mostly been about my affirmations.  I have tried to make my affirmations things that are not wishful thinking but actionable.  Then I form a picture in my mind of that action.  One of my recent affirmations as about me establishing my presence and showing my leadership at an important meeting.  I pictured myself making rounds and talking to influential people in the room — all without having a panic attack.

I do not do any of the other S.A.V.E.R.S. in order.  Most days I do them all but if I am going to skip something it is usually the scribing or the exercise.  On my good days I do a Jillian Michaels kettlebell workout and write my morning pages.  On my worst I do neither. Truth.

Right now my daily schedule is out of control.  For example, today I had back to back meetings from 8am to 8pm.  Between work and launching a new business most nights I do not get home until 8 or 9.  I get home and then spend the next few hours trying to process and decompress from the day.  Getting up early means I try to go to bed by 11pm.  For the most part I have been consistent with this new bedtime effort.  As a recovering night owl I am amazed that I have been able to change my body clock so quickly.

As a young emptynester who works relatively close to work, I realize some women might laugh as my suggestion that anything I’ve outlined is a challenge.  Having young children and/or needing to do things like cook dinner and check homework are not my current reality.  Still, I challenge all my women friends with children at home to push themselves to find time for themselves daily.  As much as the Miracle Mornings have been transformative for me there are hundreds of other productivity systems out there. The key is finding something that you can commit to, something that stirs you to action.

I believe every woman deserves the chance to grow. Finding a daily opportunity to be the center of your learning and living is an ideal way to help growth take place.  For some women this might mean hiding in the bathroom to read a few pages of a book or for others using your lunch hour to scrapbook.  For someone else it might be writing in a gratitude journal before bedtime or in a dream journal before getting up.

Ultimately, you have to believe something is possible to make it happen.  Do you believe you deserve to spend time on yourself? Are you willing to make a sacrifice for yourself like you make for your children/spouse/partner/community? Who is in our corner that can help hold you accountable for investing in yourself?

My goal is to support other women committed to growth.  How can I help you find the time to make your growth a priority?

kelli

 

4 Ways to Embrace the Miracle of Mornings

So y’all know I am new to the world of personal development. When the term was first introduced to me I just didn’t get why my coach thought this was something I needed to address. I have a career. I have friends. I read. Like what else was I supposed to be doing?

With a little research I came up with my own definition of personal development: the process of intentionally investing in people and things that contribute to ongoing growth.

As a creature of habit, I needed to put a system in place to help me keep my development on the top of my to-do list. After a few weeks of reading articles and listening to podcasts I stumbled upon Hal Elrod’s The Miracle Morning. Take a quick look at this video to see what The Miracle Morning is all about:

S.A.V.E.R.S. are the crux of the Miracle Mornings framework.
Silence | Affirmation | Visualization | Exercise | Scribe

The geek in me was on board with the structure of the the S.A.V.E.R.S.  Structure and routine work for me.  They give me life.

I will go into more detail on each of the S.A.V.E.R.S. as the month progresses.  Until then, here is a quick and dirty list of ways I use The Miracle Mornings to help me grow.

1. Make it a priority. I add my development time to my daily calendar. I use a daily planner system called the Bullet Journal to manage my daily tasks.

2. Find a system that works for you. I discovered the Miracle Morning system this summer (I will write a separate post about this soon). Miracle Mornings help me start my days off right. I have never had any system or process that kept me consistently getting up at least an hour before I need to get ready for work.

3. Find an accountability partner. I believe wholeheartedly in accountability. I do not think humans were created to do life alone. My accountability for my personal development is a ‘Mornings with Kelli’ Facebook Group I created for close friends looking to work on their personal development.  I totally get more out of the group than they do 🙂

4. Sleep.  I have had MAJOR issues with sleep for as long as I can remember. These days I have a great handle on my sleep.  I will never be a perfect sleeper but I know my do’s and don’ts if I want to have a good nights rest. I promise to  write about sleep this month.  All I can say is that getting my sleep under control was the key to me getting my life!  I cannot wait to share my sleep journey with my fellow night owls.

Mornings are doable even for the skeptic.  The key for me was embracing the possibility of mornings.  I had to open my heart and mind to the idea that this night owl was capable of improving her sleep and starting her mornings off productively. If I can embrace the miracle of mornings you can too.

I would love to hear specific questions about personal development.  What stops you from investing in yourself?  How can we take this journey together?

kelli