Kelli King-Jackson, ACC

Coaching for Black women leading in white spaces.

leadership

Black at Work: Sameness is the New White

The date is April 20, 2025. I don’t normally date my posts because that limits the ability for evergreen content (IYKYK). However, we are at a period in history that must be documented for the next generation. When they look back on what leadership was like for Black women in 2025, I want them to know the truth.

Sameness is the new white.

Over the past three months, the administration of the 47th President of the United States has launched a war on the efforts to truly democratize this country. Policies and practices that had been put into place over the last five years have been control-alt-deleted overnight in many cases. This erasure has not just happened at the federal level, but has also steamrolled its way into the workplace.

Companies that had finally started tracking and sharing data on inequities in hiring, promotions, salary, and procurement took that data down in the midnight hour. Programs designed to finally expose and explain hidden pathways to career opportunities for women, people of color, disabled folks, LGBTQ folks, veterans and more were ‘opened to all’ under the pretense of fairness.

You see, sameness has become the new white.

The efforts to decenter whiteness, maleness, straightness, and ability were crushed under the weight of the narrative of ‘being left out.’ I say narrative because the data on the ‘gains’ experienced by the aforementioned groups had already largely been erased. McKinsey’s most recent Women in the Workplace report showed that any gains that Black women made to addressing systemic inequities at work are long gone. In the nonprofit sector, funding to BLOs and other groups had already started to decline.

So here we are in a season where we’re told to treat everyone the same and change our language so everyone feels included. This call is really code for making sure those who have always had power and privilege are treated the same as those who had finally been seen at work.

If you’re a Black woman or femme in leadership, April 20, 2025 likely feels like hustling backwards. Like you’re working extra hard to treat everyone the same so as not to offend, knowing full well that this same effort was never extended to you. It’s especially concerning given that it will mean more and more of your peers will struggle to get fair wages, promotions, or other opportunities.

So what are you to do?

Here are my top recommendations:

  1. Show up. Continue to mentor, even if informally. Continue to share the codes and dispel myths for folks on your teams who don’t know or understand all the hidden codes and pathways in your organization. If you’re a values-driven leader, check out this LinkedIn Live called Just Following Orders? It’s a Question of Leadership.
  2. Pay attention. Monitor your promotions, annual evaluations, salaries and bonuses. Encourage other historically excluded people to do the same. Don’t just let things go but make sure you’re tapping into the systems in place to address your concerns (i.e. HR, your Union rep, or an HR attorney, if needed).
  3. CYA. Document everything for yourself and for your team via your work management tool(s). ****One my favorite tools for documenting with your supervisor is the ‘Repeat Back’ email (aka takeaways email). Here’s a good guide on how to send an effective repeat back.
  4. Pay attention. (Re)familiarize yourself with key documents. Revisit the organizational handbook and any important policies and strategic documents. Know the difference between the policy and how it’s practiced in your organization. Review your job description and work plan and pay attention when you start getting pulled into directions that don’t align with them.
  5. Give folks the dignity of their own experience. This means no more doing for others what they can do for themselves. Focus on what’s in your work plan and let your supervisor be responsible for ensuring the rest gets done. Don’t let leadership gaslight you with the ‘going above and beyond’ rhetoric if it never benefits you or your career. And if you’re the supervisor, it’s time to check the team work management tool to review it for bottlenecks and outstanding tasks and bring that to the team meeting.
  6. Build your endurance by slowing down. Franchesca Leigh shared a dope TikTok on the importance of us all to learn how to strategically wait. This moment in history requires us to be able to play the long game. If you don’t know how to stay hopeful or what to do while we wait for the work we deserve to emerge, check out the video. I’ll let it speak for itself.

The only way to ensure we don’t go back to the days of old (aka pre-2020) is for us to be in loving accountability with each other and our workplaces. If we do that, I believe we will swing back to a middle-way of being both equitable and inclusive of everyone. The future of work will require it.

To be clear, I don’t think any one group should be privileged over another. Nor do I believe Black women should continue to be the workhorse for organizations. Those days are gone and we aren’t going back. If companies want to keep Black women in leadership, then they’ll have to figure out how to pay us what we’re worth and give us the titles too. Otherwise, we’ll continue to move with our feet and go where we’re appreciated.

And that’s that on that.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on how we move through this period of sameness to get back to a place where whiteness is being actively decentered to make space for other ways of leading and experiencing work.

Redefining Boundaries: Black Women’s Path Forward

“There’s no normal to return to, there’s only what we do next.” When I heard Tad Stoermer say these words on a recent IG video, I stopped in my tracks. In the video he goes on to say that when we tell folks to stay calm and trust the system, we’re adjusting to what’s wrong instead of fighting for something better. When I thought about my professional and personal networks of Black women, I thought about how this statement is playing out for us. Here’s what I’m seeing:

Black women are organizing other Black women – this is not the season of Black women putting their lives and careers on the line to save democracies or workplaces. Our work in this moment is to make sure our communities and networks have what they need to survive the challenges that lay ahead.

Black women are taking care of themselves and other Black women – where this is working out, finding a new therapist, or saying no to overworking and producing. For the first time in a long time, I see across my networks, Black women prioritizing their wellbeing like never before.

Black women are getting their financial houses in order – we’re paying off debt, building new streams of income, and doing our best to find ways to make up for decades of under-earning. This has also meant spending time to better understand how money works and how to make it work for us.

Black women are leading with boundaries. The idea that we will continue to be the mammies of the workplace is no more. We’re making sure to CYA and hold folks accountable to the policies on the books in our organizations. I won’t say too much about how I see this playing out because IYKYK that this is our Celie moment where we’re saying no more.

Black women are preparing for the future of work. They’re signing up for coaching. Applying for leadership programs and fellowships. They’re looking for roles that will honor their skills and expertise in environments with healthy cultures. To that end, aren’t making big moves right now. They’re staying put and watching to see where organizations will land and stand after the first year of this current administration. Think: very mindful and demure.

I don’t know how long this season will last. I do know the way I’m moving as a leader right now is with intentionality and deep care for my sister circle. So my question to you is: what’s next for you in your leadership? Are you hoping to go back to the ‘good old days’ or are you working to build something new?

In 2025 It’s Time to Fortify

My word of the year was supposed to be radiant. I planned to go with the theme ‘Shine Bright Like a Diamond’ (think RiRi in her Anti era). I was already working on my vision board when my new word found me the week before the inauguration – Fortify. I tried my best to resist this word but it kept coming up. So I decided to stop fighting and accept the message that was being sent – it’s time for me to fortify if I want to thrive in this current moment in history.

Let’s dig into it. Here’s the definition of fortify:

for·ti·fy ˈfȯr-tə-ˌfī

transitive verb

:to make strong: such as

a: to strengthen and secure (a place, such as a town) by forts or batteries

**b:**to give physical strength, courage, or endurance to

c: to add mental or moral strength to : encourage

d: to strengthen or enhance by the addition of some substance or ingredient

As I read the definition, I was crystal clear on why the word chose me. The universe decided that I would be a person in leadership in 2025. I don’t believe in accidents so I decided to pay attention to what this might mean. I quickly concluded that the best way for me to fortify is to focus on what’s in my locus of control. Myself, my people, and my clients. I can’t control what’s happening in the White House or Congress. However, I can use my gifts, talents, and skills right now to serve across those three domains. I can show up there.

I’d love to invite you to join me by thinking about what’s in your locus of control. Here’s what that looks like practically.

Myself/Yourself

Gratitude lists and affirmations

Being mindful of what I put in my body – eating regular meals, hydrating, regular movement of some kind, limiting news consumption and doom scrolling.

Taking lunch breaks every day even if it’s just to move your body or get some fresh air

My/Your People

Make sure everyone has an updated ID

Check the expiration date on all passports

Plan that check-in call or text and keep a pulse on how folks are doing

My/Your Community

Check in with your charity of choice to see how you can lend an extra hand or make an additional donation

Sign up to be a voter registrar and start engaging with folks around the local elections in your area

Strengthen your community relationships by reaching out to a colleague or someone you’ve always admired from afar

My Clients/YOU

I’m sending emails about your traction report to remind you to spend time in your leadership each week

I’m offering quarterly planning sessions during the weekday to make them more accessible to more people

I’m offering probono strategic advising hours to current nonprofit and philanthropic partners being negatively impacted by this current administration

I want to hear how you’re doing. What feels like it’s in your locus of control right now? If you focus your leadership on your locus of control, what can change for you?

5 Ways to Maintain Your Emotional Intelligence When You’re Triggered AF

By now, you know I’m passionate about emotional intelligence (EQ) as an essential skill for all leaders of humans (animals too!) Having a high EQ requires some intentionality to maintain because unlike IQ, your EQ is not fixed.  Since EQ is impacted by the things we experience in our lives and leadership, we must be mindful (not demure, maybe cutesy) about it. 

You may be navigating how toxic U.S. politics are spilling over into your work environment; or you abruptly had your job duties change because of how the attacks on diversity, equity and inclusion is being addressed in your organization. Maintaining your emotional intelligence are key to helping you lead with confidence and keep your emotional well-being in a good place.  If you’re struggling, here’s how to get started:

First, ask yourself these five questions:

1. Self-Perception – Do you internally question your value or abilities (a.k.a. feel like an imposter) or go out of your way to make it clear you’re qualified for your role?

2. Self-Expression – Are you less comfortable expressing your opinions around anything that could be perceived to be connected to race or social justice at work, even when it’s relevant to the conversation? 

3. Interpersonal – Has the lack of psychological safety left you feeling distant or disconnected from others?

4. Decision Making – Have challenges in your organization created tensions between staff that make it harder for you to make decisions?

5. Stress Management – Are you finding it more difficult to manage your stress or stay calm given the state of the world?

Look at your responses.  What surprised you? What concerned you? What made you feel great? 

1. Identify Your Emotions

You can feel hard things.  The idea that emotions have no place at work or in leadership is not useful. You’re a human being.  You have feelings.  What we want is for you to actually tap into those feelings so they don’t take over how you show up as a leader.  Check out this great feelings wheel, especially if you a feelings dodger or an earth sign (often confused with not expressing emotion). If you find yourself in the xx part of the wheel, consider keeping a list or journal to track how certain experiences impact your mood and decision-making.

2. Practice Active Listening

Active listening is a skill most of us need to work on, especially post-pandemic as we lead in environments that have rapidly changed.  Active listening includes paying attention to what is said and unsaid.  When in conversations, focus not only on the words but the emotions behind them.  Make sure to ask questions and avoid making assumptions about what you think you’re hearing. 

3. Strengthen Your Self-Expression

Let’s be real.  Everyone cannot handle all of you and what you think!  You need a safe space to express your emotions authentically without fear of judgment (eh-hem…schedule your next session if you’re not on the calendar). This helps you practice speaking your truth in tough situations so you can then show up at work in a way that keeps you safe.  Sometimes y’all out here verbal vomiting and saying the the truth you see in a space that cannot hold it. 

4. Manage Stress with Mindfulness

According to positive psychology (PQ), we need about 10 seconds to reroute neurons when our Saboteurs are activated. Mindfulness helps you create new neural pathways. You can use mindfulness to pause when you’re being controlling or hyper vigilant about something. Basically, when your mind is taking control, pause long enough to get back in your body. Shift the energy so you can remain clear-headed and not get flustered or overwhelmed. As someone who hates to meditate, I had to find mindfulness tools that worked for me.  My practice of choice is tapping (current clients can access the tapping resources in our coaching resources board).  Find a practice that you can use before your (work) triggers get you activated.

5. Build a Support Network

Finding community can be hard for Black women leading in white spaces. Sometimes it’s the organizational culture or politics. Other times, it’s finding a leader who understands your experience as a Black woman and who is not intimidated by you. Some of y’all have just had really toxic experiences so you rather keep to yourself. Isolation is a tool of dominate culture. When leaders are isolated, the head noise can be exceptionally loud. You need community. I said it. You need people to lead well. You need their perspectives and their pushback. Their support and their challenge. Surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals creates a strong professional and emotional support system. If you’ve been nervous about connecting with other leaders, check out sone of our small groups as a way to ease into a network.

If you’re ready to join a small group with Black women in leadership who are thriving, fill out our intake form.

Ready to take your EQ development to the next level? Schedule an EQ-i 2.0 assessment for yourself or your team today and start your journey toward more empowered leadership!