Kelli King-Jackson, ACC

Coaching for Black women leading in white spaces.

black at work

Black at Work: Over It

Over It. For Black women ‘over it’ is a distinct feeling. It’s an emotion that we know deeply, even when we don’t have the words to adequately explain it. For many, the feeling comes from being asked and tasked to do too much. It’s a reminder that you have let all your boundaries lapse or you feel like you have no control over how you spend your time. I believe this ‘over it’ feeling is a shared experience among Black women leading in America.

✓ You’re dreading getting out of bed in the morning.

✓ You feel yourself rolling your eyes time anyone stops by your office/pings you on IM/sends you an email.

✓ During team meetings, you avoid eye contact so no one asks your opinion or volunteers you for another project.

I know you feel me!

If you chuckled at any of the items above try these five tips to move from over it to about it:

  1. Figure out what ‘freedom’ means to you and lead from that place. Thanks to Attica Locke for the nuggets: https://youtube.com/shorts/DyGCAdHGE88?feature=share!
  2. Remind yourself that meetings ain’t work! Let me say it again. Being in meetings is not (usually) when you get things done. If you don’t have work blocks on your calendar, you’re likely taking work home or seriously behind. Neither is sustainable. HBR put out a piece on overworked teams that is worth a read: https://hbr.org/2022/10/how-to-intervene-when-your-team-has-too-much-work
  3. Get yourself a delegation. Listen. We can’t be at all the places all the time. That’s played all the way out (in my 90s voice). You need to know your team well(direct reports, supervisors, interns, other departments, etc.). Where do they excel? What is their capacity to step into more leadership? Are you leveraging their areas of expertise? Utilize your delegation strategically and work becomes more purposeful for everyone.
  4. Reclaim your power. Make sure you know your team goals, organizational logic models, work plan, etc. like the back of your plan. Use your calendar to track how you spend your time (i.e. color-coded by your big rocks) and document your work (I used to have a spreadsheet of every presentation and major accomplishment/contribution). Doing both of these things ensures you have good data and feedback to share with your supervisor during review time. This allows you to use data to amplify things that don’t align and to advocate for bonuses, promotions, and the like. Also, see tip 1 again. Freedom and power go hand-in-hand.
  5. Free yourself. One of the greatest challenges for Black women leaders is being able to step away from things they have invested so much time and energy into. This commitment ‘see it through’ can be to our detriment. Revisit tip 1 and ask yourself, am I leading from a free space? Has my leadership outgrown or become misaligned with this opportunity? Have an idea of how you’ll get yourself back to a liberated, aligned space when you find things off track.

I hope at least one of these tips is useful. Message me on LinkedIn and let me know!

Black at Work: Energy Audit

You may have seen my post on LinkedIn where I talked about testing out an energy audit of my calendar. The energy audit has also come up in coaching sessions as many of my clients have been experiencing extreme overwhelm. Y’all have consistently talked about being stretched too thin, being exhausted, and lacking excess energy to do the things that you love and are excited about because there is just no reserve.

Why does it matter? You’re human! I know some think it’s a given but so many of y’all are holding on to your superwoman martyr costumes that I needed to type it anyway. The really real is that how you spend your time – what’s on your calendar – tells the story of what you believe is important (personally or because of external pressure). So, despite what you say, your calendar is a values statement.

So what exactly is an energy audit?

The concept of energy audit was actually introduced to me by my colleague, Tracie Jae. The idea is that you can start being more mindful about how your leadership styles, work environment, personality, etc. impact your work. I’ve broken down the energy audit in three components.

Boundaries

The first is that you have a centralized calendar system. It really doesn’t matter what type of calendar but it does matter that you have ONE. Those of y’all still trying to navigate paper and digital calendars at the same time are fascinating. You can argue me down that it works for you even as you keep double booking. Stop it 🙂 ALL of your events and activities need to be in one place. This is the place you go to look to see what you have going on each day, week or month across all of your obligations (work, home, self). A consistently utilized calendar is a boundary, y’all. Things floating around in your head or on random stickies don’t get done. Your eyes are bigger than your stomach. Your yeses exceed your availability.

Alignment

Having everything written down allows you to think about how much energy each item on my calendar costs you. Whether you timeblock or color-code, take a look at the things that make it on your calendar. What do they tell you about what’s important to you? Meetings? Writing time? Strategy? Supervision? Emails? We live complex lives, so to think that our calendars are neutral is naive. Each item on your calendar tells you if you’re spending time on things that aligned to your job, purpose, family, etc. An audit of your calendar tells you how much energy it takes to get each item done. Take a look at what was on your calendar and what type of energy you expended on each item. Did you have a day full of meetings that have nothing to do with your job and just put you further and further behind? How did you feel at the end of that day? If you felt anything less than ‘ok’ is there anything you had control of that would have left you with some energy. Look back at the activities on your calendar to see where and how you spent your time. Where there any energy producing activities? If not, what changes can you make next week to change things up?

Rest

Doing an energy audit allows you to see whether or not how you spend your time is deeply aligned to your purpose/passion/vision/career goals. When you operate outside of our gifts, talents, and roles you are using extra energy. There more you are out of alignment the more time you need to recover and replenish your energy. Rest means in taking pauses and building in breaks to sustaining yourself, especially when your work or team you’re on are misaligned due to circumstances (i.e. Sis has bills to pay). When a new job isn’t a quick solution, you can orcharstrate rest by giving yourself buffer time before or after meetings to prep or to decompress. You can also make sure you are appropriately delegating and using your time with your supervisor to realign your work/role, if at all possible.

Now What?

Energy audits aren’t easy but they provide important information. They help you better understand where and how you’re spending your time so you can prepare. You are worth the 15 minutes between meetings that you need to shake off a toxic team or to nourish your body. Energy audits are especially important when you lead in spaces where you don’t have the position or power to control your calendar. When it’s safe, voice the things you need to bring the greatest value to your work. When it’s not safe, do your best to use your energy in the most strategic and impactful way. Either way, commit to trying something. Test an energy audit and notice what you learn. Are there a ny change in your disposition and mind? What is your energy like after a day of aligning your calendar to your values and purpose? If you do an energy audit, let me know how it goes.

Black at Work: Reset YourSelf

September is doing all the things.  Mercury is in Retrograde.   COVID is still real.  Life is life-ing.  Across my coaching sessions you have said y’all are exhausted, overworked, underappreciated, and refusing to slack off because Black women don’t move like that. 

Y’all have heard me ask: At what cost?

How much longer will you be able to maintain this pace?

What would ‘better’ look like, feel like, smell like, sound like, taste like?

My job as a coach is not to tell you what to do.  It’s to ask questions.  Offer things for your consideration.  Challenge you to consider another viewpoint. 

My coach is doing the same with me.  I, too, managed to allow my schedule to get out of control in August.  I looked up and it was September and I couldn’t even remember my late-July vacation. 

IYKYK

One thing about me is that I’m going to find a way to bounce back.  Here are a few things I’m going to try as I seek to enter this next quarter from an empowered place. I hope they help give you the energy you are to reallocate time in the 4th quarter.

  1. Back to a 30-45 min weekly planning time.  I used to do this session with the Joy Collective and even hosted monthly sessions for my network in 2021.  I miss having this time to prepare for the workweek. You can do the same by hopping on Zoom with friends or doing it as a family activity.
  2. Time Blocking.  I’ve written about time-blocking before.  This tool is essential because meetings aren’t work and virtual land has created the conditions to expect back-to-back-to-back meetings ALL. DAY. LONG. Time blocking allows me to schedule dedicated working times where I can process all the meetings and build relationships.  If you adopt this strategy treat this time as a sacred, non-negotiable meeting with your brain. 
  3. Our labor laws in the U.S. are trash but most jobs allow for a 30-minute lunch break.  Take it!  Step away from your desk and get back into your body.
  4. Before saying yes to another request ask a LOT of questions.  Nitpick the hell out of the request to ensure that your yes is deeply aligned to your job, values, and goals. Am I the best person for this request?  If I wasn’t available who would you ask to serve in this capacity? How much time is expected for me to participate? When will this project/committee/etc. end?

I mean, it’s wild that the rest of us feel like we are letting folks down by prioritizing ourselves in our own lives.  Hopefully, we are learning that the way these Gen Zers are set up – the way they walk into interviews asking about PTO, mental health coverage, and PD budgets – is the new minimum standard.  Holistic growth is non-negotiable for Gen Zers; it’s not something they have to earn by paying unstated, outdated dues.

Yep, just writing that sentence triggered me. 

Here’s the thing.  So many of us have stopped believing in what’s possible because of what we’ve seen firsthand.  Our doubt needs to catch up with these company policies and statements. Until then, let’s leverage the hell out of them before they disappear. Let’s use these resources to reset ourselves!

Resources:

Black at Work: Quarterly Review

So I recently did my quarterly review for the second quarter.  I always dread the thought of doing quarterly reviews but feel really great at the end.  My experience wasn’t great because my quarter was perfect.  In fact, I had a really challenging quarter personally.  #life was life-ing in all the ways.  My experience with my review was great because it allowed me to step outside of myself and my self-critique and look at data.  I found the data in my calendar, emails, and reports.  The review was a way to put all the disparate pieces together to create a cohesive picture of all the time and energy I put into the quarter. 

I shared my review on LinkedIn and several folks thanked me for reminding them to do theirs.  Y’all, it’s not too late. Any day is a good day to look back to bring forward lessons and reflections.  Before you talk yourself out of trying, here is a list of things you can do to start your review today.  I’ve even created a handout for folks who prefer a template to guide them through the process. 

Top 10

  1. Revisit your annual work plan, vision board, or quarterly goals.  No matter how you structured your goals, annual or quarterly, you can still pause every 90 days to see how things are going. 
  2. Leaders have areas they shine in and areas in which they struggle.  It’s important to spend time reflecting on both.  You don’t want to self-congratulate yourself out of growing.  Nor do you want to criticize yourself so much that you overlook important contributions you’re making.
  3. Those who have gone before us (living and ancestors) have left footprints for us to follow.  Pausing to pay homage each quarter grounds us in our collective leadership journey.  As Black women/femmes and women-identifying folx, we don’t walk alone.  Our culture values a shared experience as inspiration to keep going during tough times.
  4. Just because you set a goal doesn’t mean the goal can’t change.  Life, organization’s, the freakin world, are changing constantly.  We have to be flexible in how we adapt our goals to our lived reality.  Rigidity doesn’t serve leaders in the 21st century. 
  5. A leader’s success isn’t only in work.  It is also in joy and pleasure.  Don’t diminish the importance of prioritizing and experiencing both.  Often.
  6. Leaders have to cultivate the soil where they’ve planted seeds otherwise they will not reap a full harvest. Leaders who don’t tend to the not-fun part of leadership will never fully see the fruit of their labor.
  7. Self-Leadership.  Surround yourself with images, words, and sounds that inspire you to keep working toward what you really want.
  8. Reach back.  As a leader, make sure you create time to invest in others.  Whether it is a direct report or a promising intern.  Prioritize regular time supporting other leaders in their growth.
  9. Tell someone.  Y’all know I believe strongly in accountability.  Let someone know about your quarterly review and find ways to support each other over the next 90 days.
  10. Need a guide? Grab my ‘Not Your Mama’s Quarterly Review‘ to guide you through the process.
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